now we are on my confession
i’m now comfortable becoming nonbinary, why?
…
yeah i’m just comfy with it. when i was listening to my favorite song. there’s some flashback that triggers me, that flashback is i almost got s3xual abus3 by some people
yeah, this is true, when i still 15-17, this incident was in my grandma’s house, my parents and others are going out, me? i was alone in a room without locked door, i thought it’ll be okay and safe for me because my parents were checking everything before they go. but i heard someone else around between living room and kitchen. i looked at living room and there’s a old man (i didn’t know who is that, i thought he was grandma’s close friend that know me) but no, i sensed he not my grandma’s friend that know me. i thought he was keeping me but. i was wrong. he didn’t. he gets closer to me and laying down beside me and almost rubbing my chest. i scared, i immediately massage my parents/my big brother cousin that i scared in home alone with a creep old man. after i massaged my parents, my cousins are coming and keeping me safe from that old man.
and around 2021, idk what happened, i get gr00med by my perv ex-boyfriend that younger than me (he was 16 and i’m 20, yeah ik it’s weird), he forcing me to dated him though i didn’t want to, idk what he wants, finally i block all his account on discord and Instagram but i still feel haunted by him until now…
and some boys trying hard to get close with me and uses me as their “toy”. even i have bf/gf now, those creep boys still haunted me. that’s why i prefer become nonbinary, because of that and lately i feel masc more than fem. those flashback still traumatized me to socializing and my Ex-friends made it worse… i’m trying to heal here. wishes those memories are fully gone but no…
aha, sorry little vent here…